emotional stress level: HIGH!
insanity level: tolerable
mood: depressed
tune: 20041224 KBS-R Brian Joo DJ-ing + SaRangHaeDoDwelGgaYo

i have a lot of fics waiting for me to rate them but instead of reading those, i'm now on Solid07 reading a different fic & reading Da Vinci Code during non-computer hours... ~ sorry SeoHee but I'll try to make the deadline ^^

i have sent the letters to Fina & Jen earlier. i hope it'll reach them by next week.

i have to go back to SM Bicutan tomorrow for the broken cd-r, i hope they'll still replace it! Then i have want to get the dvd-rw installed on my pc before getting stuff from Marie. Then fix my dorm stuff because i'll be moving in there once again this Sunday afternoon. Of course clean my room, it's been a mess since i got here for Christmas vacation.

*sigh* i am going through some terrible things right now. i so got myself in a very fucked-up mess & i don't know how to get out of it. should i start seeking for professional help? jim oppa have been a big help lately (thanks oppa!). as for my angel, i know you're under a tough situation too, i really appreciate the help, friendship & love you're sharing with me. I hope someday (if not today) I can be of great help to you too. i don't want to be "detaily" here because remebering all those only brings me to tears. i have to think straight from now on. a lot of people were affected because of my unwise decisions. i guess i've been thinking that i'm in some kind of movie that whenever i don't want the scene i can press fast forward & when i love the scene i can always rewind it, i can't get myself to face the fact that the only button i can press is play. or maybe i read too much fiction stories that somehow made myself think that everything goes well in the end.

i wanted to write more but my situation doesn't permit me to.